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Three. This is my number. The sum of reasons why I continue to go on.
One: She needs me.
Two: I have to protect her.
And three: With her, I feel human.
But the weight of a man’s secrets is a thousand pounds on his shoulders. Two thousand more on his chest. Trapping him.
My secrets are slaughtering me.
Fear and regret—of what I’ve done, of whom I’ve become, and of what I’ve let go—are dragging me into a hole, and I can’t claw my way out.
The deeper I sink, the farther I push her away.
The farther she goes, the more my mind spirals. Down into a black abyss. It’s dark here. So damn dark.
She needs to know what I’ve done. I have to tell her. But how can I battle the darkness if I lose my light?
This is what my life is now. I’m a shadow of a man in a scarred body, longing to live again.
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